Una Oda a mi Futuro Hijo...

I remember when my Ob-Gyne told me that I am left with a polycystic right ovary (that means I am not producing mature eggs) and if I want to have a baby, I should be pregnant within a year from the time of my surgery (July 2014). It made me lose hope of being a mother at some point, I just prayed to have one, even just one.

I remember the moment when I used a breathing device to receive oxygen and to stabilize my high blood pressure after having an altitude sickness, while your Daddy and I were in El Tatio Geysers Field in San Pedro de Atacama. Little did I know, it will be the start of our new journey together.

I remember the time when the toilet bowl became my bestfriend everytime I vomit every after 30 minutes (or sometimes less), 24 hours a day, for three weeks straight. Sleepless nights, no food intake, homesickness, extreme nausea - these are a few I need to endure during those times. I saw the horror in your Daddy's face and I know he was as scared as I am. I even remember him begging me to get well soon.

I remember when my mom (your soon to be mamalala) suggested that I should take a pregnancy test, because maybe, just maybe, I am pregnant. I remember insisting that it would not be possible because I was not taking any fertility pill per my doctor advice.

I remember that morning, 1st day of May 2015, when I got the courage to take the test... to find out thereafter, that I am having you already. I was shocked and ended up crying a lot - not because I am sad to have you, but because I really thought it would be impossible.  But your Daddy was so delighted that he immediately ran to his mom's room to tell your abuelita the news.

Your very first picture when you're still
8 weeks and 6 days. May 14, 2015. 

I remember the first time I've heard your heartbeat. It was so strong. It was so loud. You hold on to your life firmly. It was the time I believed that I am indeed becoming a mother. You made me strong and, at the same time, you made me scared. Everytime I get tired of vomitting and my body is becoming weak, the sound of your heartbeat echoed in my mind, reminding me to be strong for you. Likewise, I am so scared to lose you because maybe you will be the only one that I can have.

Your first close-up half body picture at 15 weeks
and 6 days. July 8, 2015 via 3D ultrasound.

Few months later, I saw you for the first time. You are moving a lot. When I saw you stretch your tiny little arms, I thought I saw a future basketball player. But then your Daddy believes you'll become a football player after you gave some kicks. You are very much alive inside my weak body.No words can express how happy I am.

I remember the warning of my doctor, however, that you might take all my strength if I will not gain weight. And then your Daddy started to force-fed me to gain atleast one kilo per month, after my weight heavily dropped to just 34 kilos. He always reminded me to eat for you. He satisfied all my cravings. He has always been there for us from the very start.

You are growing so fast and your movements becoming so strong, that your Daddy can even feel you every time he placed his hands on top of my tummy. You are getting heavy too, that I started to feel back pains and leg cramps. Then I remember how your Daddy researched about the best position to sleep and the things to do to avoid such pains. He is so much in love with you already.


Updates soon. Next scheduled check-up: August 17. 


I just hope you will not be as stubborn as me. Please know always that from the very beginning, you are loved, protected, cared and prayed for.