i can be on my knees for a 13 year-old girl

she is simple. she is sweet. she is tough. she is boyish. she is childish. she is outgoing. she is strong. she is determined. she is brave. she is someone i always looked up to. and she is my 13 year-old youngest sister, Dianne.

who could have thought that among thousands of people i get myself acquainted to for almost twenty years, my lil sister did not fail me to be amazed by her line of thoughts. she is the only one who always caught me off guard up to the nth times a day. she draws no limits in everything she says. in fact,

(1) she is the only one who can tell me, "nang, hindi ka na makibot kung sa sunod magiging flirt ako, kay kay sino man bi mailog, kundi sa imo".

(2) she is also the best kunsintidor, "nang inom lang da bala, hindi ta man ka pagsugid kay mama".

(3) She is as self-conscious as any other girls "nang ngaa kamu ya ni cheche (another sister) maputi, ngaa ako ya maitom? itom na gid ko ya haw?".

(4) Her queries could actually make you laugh, "nang what if ya bi madoctor ko dayun ma-dancer malang gid ko gali ya sa bar no? ma-frustrate bay na si papa?".

(5) She got the guts to answer back to our mother logically, "te ngaa naakigan mo ko ya kay nagsabat ko sa imo, namangkot ka kag!".

(6) Her nonsense remarks could actually make any sense, "manang, gwapa ka ya kung sa generation mo, pero subong generation ko naman, te ako naman ang gwapa."

(7) She is always in a hurry, "manang, pag-migo na abi para ka migo naman ko, hindi ko ya gutso maglaon."

who could have figured that this athlete (who plays almost everything - basketball, football, volleyball, track and field, and chess) will always amaze the whole family with her extraordinary braveness and strength. imagine...

(1) She is INDEPENDENT at the age of three.

A child always seeks for maternal affection, but she was contented being with my father at a very young age. it is not because mama and papa were separated, but papa worked in Iloilo that time while we (with our mother) were left in Capiz. She passed an entrance exam in a very good nursery school / university in the metro, that is why my parents decided not to ruin a very good foundation of education for her. of course, there is a lot of homesickness drama, but she was able to face it all, as a matter of fact, she is still in the same university for her high school years with a very good academic standing.

(2) She can bravely face and counter DEATH.

when she was eight, she fell from the window of our house' attic down to the corner of the sink in our dirty kitchen, down to the ground on the eve of 25th, December. i can vividly remember the look of her paled face bathe with her own blood as she was carried and drove to the nearest hospital. She got ONLY a seven-inches-suture-wound in her forehead from her 12 meters fall, surprisingly. and swear, i really cannot forget the feeling of fear for anything that can possibly happen to her. i trembled, i am not sure whether it is because of the cold December wind or because of my uncontrollable nerves. i remember her saying "manang, diri ka lang sa tupad ko, hindi ko di pagbayai" while we were in the emergency room when her operation was to be started. her tight grip in my hand made me able to face my fears of blood and medical operations. and despite of the fact that i know she is in awful pain, she can still make everyone smile, "doc dugay pa na ang tahi? hambal mo five seconds nalang.. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.. doc, tama na, hindi ta na ka ya friend. hindi na kamu friend ni santa claus...". yes. nakuha pa niyang magcount down.. it made me release a long breath, she is so brave, i know and i believe she will be okay. ni minsan, hindi siya nakatulog, hindi siya nawalan ng malay. i wonder if it will happen to me, i dunno how to deal with it, maybe i'll die instantly.

(2) At th age of 11, she had the strength and determination to WALK a 5 kilometers distance from Jaro plaza to our residence in Tagbak, Jaro.

she lost her wallet on her way home from school. she left empty handed, without a single centavo in her pockets. she may lack common sense to ask a little favor to use pay phones or just wait for our own public jeepney for a free ride, still, i can't help myself but to admire her to have no second thoughts of walking with her heavy knapsack loaded of books and notebooks and lunch boxes, before the total darkness fall. i don't want to imagine her looking weary and tired and scared to be scolded. i wonder what she was thinking while she was making a step without food or even water. i wonder how many jeepneys and cars already passed her. Honestly, i cannot do it by myself, i cannot even walk for a kilometer. yet, she was able to be at home, and we all feel pity for her as she burst in tears knowing how miserable she felt towards her lost wallet and how stressful it is to walk rather than to take a rest from a long day in school.

(3) She had the courage to willingly TRAVEL from Manila to Iloilo by plane for the first time, ALONE.

it took her thirteen years to finally ride an airplane to Manila. She took the risk of being marked absent in her classes for her two day visit in Manila, merely for 'biga'. But what she risked most is to travel from Manila to Iloilo alone (like alone!) for the first time. May mas nakakaloka pa ba na pumunta ka sa airport 3 in the morning nung August 3, then hindi ka makapag.check-in at doon mo nalang narealize na August 4 pala ang flight mo? sounds stupid, but it actually happened to her. she texted me, "ai naku manang, akig akig gid ko kay mommy, hambal niya gid subong (aug.3) flight ko, gali bwas pa ya. wai pa ako tulog.", and i can't help but laugh. poor her!

but hindi lang jan nagtatapos, August 4, 5:45 she was already in the plane bound for Iloilo (good thing hindi nangyari ang kinatatakutan ko - that she will get lost inside the airport and be at the wrong plane). after an hour, i asked her where on earth she is already, and ikinawindang ko ang answer niya, "nang, ari ako sa mactan, cebu! hindi bi ka.land ang plane sa airport sang iloilo kay masyado maulap daw, te derecho kami di, ma-refuel lang, then kung okay na ang weather da sa iloilo, matake.off man kami di dayon!". and i was like, "GOSH!"... series of unfortunate events?! ang malas naman niya! for all of my life, i used to travel by plane alone, but i've never experienced such thing! i was worried about her, like literally! i admit, i bombarded her with lots of questions, and she only replied back calmly (sound irritated pa nga siya sa unending questions ko). i was amazed, like i want to show pity for her but i can't coz she took it calmly and deal with it as if nothing is wrong. parang ako pa nga ang namomoroblema eh!

and... at ten in the morning, straight from the airport, dressed in her uniform, she attended her classes, as if nothing happened.

her day started at 2 am from Cavite, 5:45 she bid goodbye to Manila, 7 am she was in Cebu, and by 10 she was at school! woa! whatta tiring day, but she managed to pass it all... daw ako ang ginkapoy para sa iya!

Kung arisgada ako, mas arisgada gid siya ya.

she had the guts. she had the courage. she had the humor. though she aged seven years younger than i am, still, i really looked up to her, she was my veiled IDOL. and i won't deny it.

how i wish i was like her. brave and determined. :)